People are fond of quoting Karl Marx (without knowing they are quoting him) by saying, “History repeats itself…” I do not believe I have ever heard anyone use the full quote, “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce.” It is the “tragedy” aspect of history repeating that should frighten us the most. There are lessons to be learned from past events but it requires us to remember those events.. to talk about those events… and share the outcome with our children. If we do not, the “history” lesson below will repeat and repeat and repeat.
School is back in session. You might want to speak with your children about the importance of first impressions. Here is why.
According to an article published in Forbes magazine in February 2011, seven seconds are all that are needed for the human brain to react to thousands of stimuli and make the decision whether a person is friend or foe. In that brief span of time, seven non-verbal signs are calculated, disseminated and digested, leaving an impression that can never be erased. No matter what discoveries are made in the ensuing hours, days, months or years, we will forever be defined by the length of time between blinks.
Non-verbal signs are what the eye sees and the brain involuntarily processes. These signs include attitude, posture, facial expression and eye contact. Staring and invading someone’s personal space are perceived as aggressive actions. Negative vibes are also transmitted through clothing and personal grooming. Clothing, tattoos, body piercing, hair color and style can all project an image of danger.
I mention these things because in an article published in the Palm Beach Post on July 15, 2013, Attorney Craig Lawson said that he struggled to find the words to explain to his children how the jury had reached their verdict in the much talked about George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case. Lawson, who is black, is quoted as saying, “The system doesn’t look at us fairly. There’s nothing new about this.” He advised young African Americans, “You have to be careful out there. You have to be vigilant.” In the photograph provided, Lawson is dressed in a well cut suit, dress shirt and tie. His appearance is totally professional. He is non-threatening.
Mark Twain wrote, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” In today’s society, the wrong clothes can make someone appear to be “bad” even if they are not. Perhaps, Craig Lawson should have included that warning when he spoke to his children, not because they are black but because it is a fact of life. People will judge you first by what they see. You can never take back a first impression.
That is a message all children need to hear especially now with peer pressure being exerted with centrifugal force. I repeated the warning thousands of times to my own children and now continue to repeat it to students in my classes at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts. Parents need to tell their children that the choices they make can lead to heaven or hell (figuratively and literally). It is not fair, but it is fact.
Although we are told not to judge a book by its cover, the cover is a good gauge of what is inside. When Trayvon Martin was shot, the media saturated the airwaves with pictures taken years earlier. In those photos, Trayvon was an innocent young boy. More recent photographs depicted someone ready and willing to take on all challengers. It is possible that underneath the street wise demeanor, gold grillwork, and punk attire the innocent youth of those early photographs still existed. It is possible that Trayvon Martin wanted to be perceived by his peers as cool and capable but was really a sweet young man. Unfortunately, seven seconds is not long enough for the human brain to consider those possibilities and guilt by association is its own form of condemnation. More than two lives were dramatically changed that day. We all were – or should have been – changed but I doubt the lesson taught was retained much beyond the news cycle.
Human beings are judgmental by design. No matter which side of the Zimmerman/Martin case people were on, they condemned without knowing all the facts because only two people know what really happened and one of them was dead. No one can testify in his/her own defense from the grave. Both Zimmerman and Martin had the same options: Zimmerman to remain in his car and Martin to go into the house. They each made the choice to confront. Once the physical distance between them was closed, regardless of who moved into whose space, needless violence was fated to be the result. Reaction rather than action has become the cause of far too many deaths.
The message that all parents should be instilling in their children – no matter their ethnicity – is that the human eye cannot see your character, your ethics or your moral fiber. The human eye cannot see a loving heart and a giving soul. It cannot see anything but the person we each choose to present to the world. That image can be the difference between success and failure… life and death.
Donna Carbone is the Executive Director/Playwright in Residence at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts. Please visit PBIEA at: pbinstituteforentertainmentarts.com