I watched last night’s Republican debate with my ears tuned more toward what was not said rather than what was said. The reason… an interesting and somewhat dismaying email I recently received from a long-time acquaintance. While I was not surprised by the email’s content, I was disheartened to know that some people actually condone what was written. The sender, a retired teacher, expressed the sentiment that because everyone lies in their daily lives, we should not concern ourselves that politicians lie. The fact that everyone does it seemed to be a credible excuse which the writer further justified by saying that it was "… the degree…” of the lie that was important.
Usually, I ignore the emails I receive from this individual because they are ludicrous and filled with misconceptions and misinformation. However, this time I was forced to reply by asking him when, as a society, we started excusing unethical behavior based on the severity of a falsehood. I am not talking about sparing someone’s feelings by avoiding a conversation on whether a certain dress or shirt makes them look fat. Lying on issues that could determine life or death is no small matter. I asked the man in question if a lack of principles was what was passing for good behavior in our schools today and whether students were being rewarded not for the strength of their character but merely for not being as bad as the other kids. He did not respond.
As a child challenging authority, I often posed the “… everyone is doing it” rationale to my mother. I vividly remember her asking me, "If everyone jumped off the George Washington Bridge, would you jump as well?" She did not expect me to answer, and I knew that my response, well-reasoned or defiant as it might be, was not the issue. My mother wanted to know if I preferred being a leader or a follower. The inference was, of course, that being a leader was much better because we all know what happens to sheep who follow a wolf in shepherd's clothing.
If everyone doing it has become an acceptable excuse for lying, what is next. Will there be acceptable reasons to rape and murder? Is this the justification for crime policies that allow thugs to loot stores and mug innocent people on the street? As a society, we have developed far too many bad habits over the last few years. Like a tiny thread that when pulled long enough can unravel an entire garment, normalizing destructive behavior can and will unravel the fabric of society that we have held near and dear to our hearts for over 400,000 years.
One last thing... the email writer offered a few examples to back up his views. He said that actors lie in commercials, car salesmen lie to customers, people on dating sites lie to potential mates, job hunters lie on resumes, and so forth. He actually related a story he had read in a medical journal about a medical school applicant who told the interviewer that he wanted to be a doctor so that he could be rich, own a big house, have servants, buy fancy cars and travel the world. The interviewer praised him by saying that other applicants who had expressed a need to offer care to the sick and the poor were insincere. He seemed to feel that this young man was a breath of fresh air.
I am not sure which bothers me more -- the idea that someone goes into medicine only to be rich (sadly, a concept that has now become a truth), the interviewer thinking that actually admitting to such a desire is praiseworthy or the notion that people really caring about each other is a total fabrication.
Donna Carbone is the Executive Director/Playwright in Residence at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts. Please visit PBIEA at: pbinstituteforentertainmentarts.com