According to an article published in Forbes magazine in February 2011, seven seconds are all that are needed for the human brain to react to thousands of stimuli and make the decision whether a person is friend or foe. In that brief span of time, seven non-verbal signs are calculated, disseminated and digested, leaving an impression that can never be erased. No matter what discoveries are made in the ensuing hours, days, months or years, we will forever be defined by the length of time between blinks.
Non-verbal signs are what the eye sees and the brain involuntarily processes. These signs include attitude, posture, facial expression and eye contact. Staring and invading someone’s personal space are perceived as aggressive actions. Negative vibes are also transmitted through clothing and personal grooming. Gang banger apparel, gang tattoos, and gang styled and colored hair all project an image of danger.
I mention these things because as the Executive Director of the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts, I teach the importance of making a good first impression with talent agents and casting directors. There is no segment of society more superficial than the Hollywood clan. A bad first impression will almost certainly destroy any hope of fulfilling your hopes and dreams.
In the real world - the place where most of us live and work - a good or bad first impression can open the door to opportunities or slam that door in your face. For reference material, I often cite an article that was published in the Palm Beach Post in July 2013.
The journalist who wrote the article was covering the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case which was making daily headlines. In the article, Attorney Craig Lawson was reported to have said that he struggled to find the words to explain to his children how Zimmerman had been found not guilty by the jury. Lawson, who is black, was quoted as saying, “The system doesn’t look at us fairly. There’s nothing new about this.” His advice to young African Americans was, “You have to be careful out there. You have to be vigilant.” In the photograph provided, Lawson was dressed in a well cut suit, dress shirt and tie. His appearance was totally professional. He was non-threatening.
Mark Twain wrote, “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” In today’s society, the wrong clothes can make someone appear to be a “bad” man even if they are not. All parents should deliver that message to their children not only because their ethnicity could put them in jeopardy but because it is true. It is a message I repeated thousands of times to my own children and now continue to repeat to students at PBIEA. “People will judge you first by what they see. You can never take back a first impression.” Parents need to warn their children that the choices they make can lead to heaven or hell and not necessarily in the figurative sense. Adults need to heed the same advice. It is not fair, but it is fact.
Although we are told not to judge a book by its cover, the cover is a good gauge of what is inside. Whenever a young person is shot, the media saturates the airwaves with pictures taken years earlier. Those photographs depict the deceased as an innocent young boy. More recent photographs provide a stark contrast often depicting someone ready and willing to take on all challengers.
It is possible that underneath the street wise demeanor and punk attire the innocent youth of those early photographs still existed. It is possible that the victim, caught up in the hype spewed by the media, merely wanted to be perceived as cool and capable when really he was a sweet boy. Unfortunately, seven seconds is not long enough for the human brain to consider those possibilities and guilt by association is its own form of condemnation. These types of situations are life changing on so many levels. There is a message to BE AWARE in all of these sad events, but I doubt the lesson taught is retained much beyond the news cycle.
Human beings are judgmental by design. We tend to condemn based on our own prejudices which are often formed through a negative first impression.
The message that all parents should be instilling in their children is that the human eye cannot see your character, your ethics or your moral fiber. The human eye cannot see a loving heart and a giving soul. It cannot see anything but the person we each choose to present to the world. That image can be the difference between success and failure… life and death.
Donna Carbone is the Executive Director/Playwright in Residence at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts, where education through entertainment is the mission statement. Donna is also a published author. Her books - mostly crime novels based on actual events - are available on amazon.
Please visit: pbinstituteforentertainmentarts.com