Both as an author and as the Executive Director of the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts, literacy is always on my mind. In the writing and acting classes we offer at PBIEA, I have grown weary of preaching the need to speak (pronounce the endings on words) and write using proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. My students will tell you that I have made it my goal to limit the use of contractions and to eliminate the words “like” and “gonna” from our lexicon.
As a constant reminder, I have placed a tee shirt with the following message on display:
“Let’s eat, grandma.”
“Let’s eat grandma.”
The shirt always gets a chuckle but it has not, as yet, worked a miracle.
We have all heard the question posed, “Which came first… the chicken or the egg?” Considering what I hear and see passing for proper grammar these days, I am forced to ask, “Which came first… the spoken or written demise of the English language?”
The next time you are in a public venue, listen in on people’s conversations. You will be forgiven (by me) for your rudeness because this will be a learning experience. Overhearing other people’s conversations is an unavoidable part of our life experience, mostly because speaking in a modulated voice is a lost art.
While I specifically mentioned “like” and “gonna” above, there is a third word which forces a scream to rise in my throat in the same way heartburn travels up my esophagus after one too many chili peppers. I get especially angry when I hear myself using it because it reminds me of an article written in a September 2010 issue of the Washington Post by journalist Gene Weingarten.
The article was titled, Goodbye, cruel words: English. It's dead to me. To quote from the essay:
“Signs of its (the English language) failing health had been evident for some time on the pages of America's daily newspapers, the flexible yet linguistically authoritative forums through which the day-to-day state of the language has traditionally been measured. Beset by the need to cut costs, and influenced by decreased public attention to grammar, punctuation and syntax in an era of unedited blogs and abbreviated instant communication, newspaper publishers have been cutting back on the use of copy editing, sometimes eliminating it entirely.”
Prior to Weingarten’s post, I often wondered if anyone except me noticed the poor sentence structure, misspellings and improper grammar used by reporters, public speakers and just plain folks. As I compose this article, I fear I am writing more of a eulogy than an opinion piece. How can it be that, with all the words Webster has put at our disposal, the utterance most often chosen to specify an object or action is not specifically an object or action at all?
No matter the topic under discussion, this one word is significant for its insignificance and simply perfect for its simplicity. The actual definition is “an object or entity not precisely designated or capable of being designated.” Is it even possible for a known object or action not to be “precisely designated?”
Spotlighting something we want and nothing we need; this single syllable word is all encompassing. Lovers know it as the touch that sets their souls aquiver. It can be something stupid, something rash, and often funny. Without it, pipes would leak, chairs would wobble and doors would squeak. Mechanically, not having use of this word would leave a certain segment of the population hitchhiking on the highway, unable to change a tire or recharge a battery.
I can only presume that the action or object requested is so sacrosanct that it must be referred to in code. At times, it is something that is missing, nothing that is wrong and anything that is a possibility. This word can define an object that resembles something, reminds us of something, sounds like something but is never the thing itself. Landfills, basements, attics and garages are piled high with discards defined by these six letters. Every day we outgrow its usefulness. Not the word… the object defined.
We are all guilty of maiming the language we speak. I have no doubt Webster is spinning in his, well, you know.
At the time Weingarten published his article, he claimed that the English language “… succumbed at the age of 1,617 after a long illness. It is survived by an ignominiously diminished form of itself.”
I would have to agree, but I am not willing to bid a final farewell yet; at least, not until I have found the ever-elusive thing. How hard could it be to find? Everyone knows of its existence. People constantly talk about it. We carry it, but can never find it, in our purses, pockets and briefcases. We store things in the trunk of our car and in kitchen cabinets. There are random things in toolboxes, sewing kits and junk drawers.
Weingarten said it better than I ever could in his closing paragraph:
“English has become increasingly irrelevant, particularly among young adults. Once the most popular major at the nation's leading colleges and universities, it now often trails more pragmatic disciplines, such as economics, politics, government and, ironically, "communications," which increasingly involves learning to write mobile-device-friendly ads for products like Cheez Doodles.”
Thirteen years have passed since Mr. Weingarten shared his lamentations in print. I was gonna like, you know, make a point here, but I couldn’t find those things needed to say what’s on my mind.
Donna Carbone is the Executive Director/Playwright in Residence at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts, where education through entertainment is the mission statement.
Please visit: pbinstituteforentertainmentarts.com