In a March 14, 2020 USA Today editorial, contributor Brendan Clarey wrote “… if you had no clue that our nation’s children are supposed to be crafting butterflies out of potato chips before writing down their stories, you’re in good company. There are many things we can blame on the internet but none of them compare to the infernal, diurnal stream of nonsensical days dedicated to everything from the mundane to the downright bizarre, all of which more unnecessary than the last.”
I agree. Most of the ridiculous national days which populate calendars were created by corporations as clever bits of marketing. They serve no purpose other than to make money for snack food and toy manufacturers worldwide. Some national days are actually dangerous and can put people in the hospital… or the grave., i.e. National Weed Appreciation Day and National Something on a Stick Day. Just use your imagination for that last one.
What exactly is a National Day of Recognition?
According to Wikipedia, a national day is a celebration marking the statehood or nationhood of a territory or its people. It may be a date recognizing independence or a birthday, coronation, or death of a historical figure. Some national days are public holidays which sets them apart from less notable national days. I doubt many corporations would consider National Talk Like Yoda Day worthy of being a paid holiday, but it was celebrated on May 21st by Star Wars fans around the world.
This year (2023), there will be approximately 67 days set aside to celebrate ridiculous national days. I am not referencing traditional holidays such as New Year’s Day, Presidents’ Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Those days are significant to all Americans regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, political leanings, gender, financial status, education and so forth. While I would like to think that people recognize the importance of these days, my gut tells me most people celebrate them more for what they can do on those days than what happened to make those holidays possible. In other words, Independence Day is important because people can spend the weekend raising the profit margins for Anheuser Busch, Oscar Meyer, and Perdue. I am fairly certain that very few people stop to think about the reason we are able to celebrate with an excess of beer, burgers and chicken wings.
While I recognize the whimsy in choosing to honor bagels, donuts and blonde brownies, I do think we would be better served by bringing attention to areas of social consciousness that need improvement. Some among you… those who do not believe that people should be held accountable for their actions … may feel that my list of preferred national days infringes on your personal liberties. Okay. Whatever. Ask me if I care.
Here goes: National Mandatory Death Sentences for Rapists Day. National Castrate Pedophiles Day. National Enact and Enforce Reasonable Immigration Policy Day. National Stop Telling People How to Live Their Lives Day. National Learn to Spell and Use Proper Grammar Day.” Oops! If that one was ever enacted, Star Wars fans would break out their light sabers to “Protect their master’s legacy, they would.” Then again, there would be fewer annoying memes on Facebook.
If anyone would like to add to my list, I would be happy to include your sensible suggestions.
When I think of all the pain and suffering in the world… in America… and then I hear we are celebrating National Bobblehead Day… well, I can only hope that the Bobbleheads in questions are Congressmen up for reelection. The more attention we bring to their failed record of accomplishments, the better off we will be.
Once we improve our language skills (National Learn to Spell and Use Proper Grammar Day), we can move on to other important issues. A National Day of Getting a Grip on Common Sense might be a good place to start. That one could be hard to put into action since common sense is not very common.
Anyone interested in starting a petition?
Donna Carbone is the Executive Director/Playwright in Residence at the Palm Beach Institute for the Entertainment Arts. Please visit PBIEA at: pbinstituteforentertainmentarts.com